Does anyone else have a little graveyard in their head for friendships of the past?
And, every once in a while, you just visit it,
and think, about how those people are getting on,
knowing you will never see or speak to them again?
The other day, it was my old best friend’s birthday.
We grew apart, obviously.
And, it is SO weird.
How you can go from talking every day, to just
an annual “Happy Birthday! Hope this year treats you well,”
to nothing.
It’s like,
I know everything about you,
but also — nothing.
thinking about the friendships that just dissipate,
and the unresolved grief that comes along
Life.
You meet people, you love them and then,
you lose them, and you never see them again.
And, it’s inevitable,
and it happens to everyone,
and there’s nothing you can do about it.
“Isn’t it all about old friends? Like everything? All of it?”
Losing people is so interesting.
Because, like, no.
I don’t want to speak to you, ever again.
But, yes.
I think about you on your birthday. Every year.
Ex-friends.
The last time I remembered you, I got so angry, I almost crashed my car.
I still think about your laugh when I see one of your favourite videos,
from the ones we used to watch together.
You made me cry three years after we last spoke.
I think of you on your birthday.
You are a part of some of the best memories I have.
Also, I hate you.
I don’t like how endings in real life come on so suddenly,
without making sense, without much warning.
One minute, you’re in the middle of something
and the next, it’s all a very long time ago,
and BOOM, you’re a different person.
And, none of it is ever coming back.
“I am awfully sentimental. Of books, belongings, people, places.
It matters very little how positive or negative the experience was.
If it shared some meaningful time in my life,
I’ll have trouble letting go.”
- Beau Taplin
